Adrenal Glands (Take Refuge) by Lisa Sonora Beam from series: 1008 Meditations on the Human Condition
This Monday I started unpacking my suitcases into the apartment I’m renting in Oaxaca, Mexico where I’ll be working through August of 2010 (except for a trip back to the U.S. in April-May to teach a few workshops in California).
The previous Monday I arrived in Oaxaca from Puerto Vallarta, and was fortunate to be able to stay with a local Mexican family I’ve been friends with for several years. They graciously fed and housed me, then transported and translated for me while we conducted a non-linear (that’s how things happen here) search for my own place.
I’m renting a simple 2 bedroom apartment in San Felipe del Agua, a 10 minute bus ride from Oaxaca’s city center. I like the quiet here, the light, and the steep hills where I’m hoping to burn off last month’s diet of chips and salsa…and more chips. The landscape is not unlike the hills of Marin County, just north of San Francisco, where my “real home” is.
San Felipe "studio" with Adrenal Glands painting on wall.
I’m trying to think of a way to display the paintings on the walls as I complete them. Right now, they consist of just the painting on found cardboard. The plan is to find some reclaimed wood somewhere (perhaps discarded shipping pallets) to make the back supports. The supports will be like a frame, only glued to the back of the piece, to provide needed structure to keep the cardboard from bending. It will also make the pieces easy to hang.
I’ve experimenting with blue painter’s masking tape. So far, Adrenal Glands has been up for 2 days without falling down. If is seems to hold OK, I’ll put up the rest of the 200 plus paintings that are finished.
Yesterday I finally got back to painting again for the first time since January 8th or so, when I had to pack up my Puerto Vallarta studio to teach my retreat, and then do the Oaxaca move from January 18 through 25.
Adrenal Glands: Take Refuge
This was the painting that I grabbed (without looking) out of my stacks of 200 plus completed paintings to test the masking tape.
When I saw the image and the title, it felt a little like my paintings were a divination deck, like the tarot, and they were speaking to me. Taking refuge is just what I need to be doing right now as I settle into working and living again with my own routine and space.
Adrenal Burnout
I’ve been dealing with Adrenal burnout for sometime…and it is confounded by the paradox of having so many ideas and projects, and so little physical energy to do them all. My mental idea of what I could/should be doing rarely matches my output. Even though I actually do produce a lot. Even though most days I’m working a 10 hour day. See? It’s really no wonder I got burnt out.
Finding balance in work and life has always been something I’ve wanted to “achieve” however I’ve not found a way yet to experience this without limiting my focus and letting other things go. For example, when I was in business school, that was about all I could do. It was an intense two and a half years, and I wanted to wring the most out of the experience. So I downsized my life in order to afford to work less and make my job about studying. It’s similar to what I’m doing now, so I can “afford” to paint and do projects that don’t pay a lot.
So far, I have not found a way to “have it all”.
So I’m officially quitting this myth. (It might mean simplifying even more.)
The American culture perpetuates and profits from the myth that we can “have it all” and “do it all” and also…look and feel completely fabulous at the same time. I’m thinking of a specific series of ads for kitchen appliances involving a perky daytime TV hostess with the perfect husband, job, kids, house, body, hair, etc. Just seeing those ads in magazines or on TV makes me tired.
OK. So then why 1008 freakin’ paintings, girl?
I took on this 1008 Paintings project as a way to learn more about how I work, and a way to learn more about this thing called balance, and a way to do more of what I really, really, really want (paint!) in the midst of an already busy life. Also, as stated in previous updates, it’s like a painting marathon. Which is perfect for me since I am not about to do a marathon involving running.
The Project Goal and Where I’m At
The goal is to paint about 200 paintings per month to meet a May 1 completion date.
Just over 200 were completed in December.
Near 200 boards are cut and ready for painting. Of those, about 40 have backgrounds complete.
Since finishing retreat and moving in to new place, I’ve just started painting again yesterday.
With only 5 days left to work this month, I could state the obvious and say I’m “behind”.
But, unlike December, when I needed to take a break, I’m trying to work at a more reasonable pace, especially in light of above discussion on Adrenal Burnout.
How about you? What are your thoughts on living and working with balance — as defined by you, and not someone else? Do you think having it all is a myth or some kind of unattainable ideal? How have you found balance? Or not?
While you're here, please subscribe to get all the goodness right in your feed reader.Related posts:
Howdy! I’m Lisa Sonora Beam, author of The Creative Entrepreneur. I teach people how to get unstuck and use their creativity to make a living doing what they love. 
{ 3 trackbacks }
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
I try not to cite my mother as a guru much, but she said something about this that has stuck with me for many years: You CAN have it all, just not all at once.
She said this after her husband died of adrenal cancer and she was reflecting back on his dreams for his life…he had a lot of he wanted, both emotionally and in terms of material possessions, just not all at the same time.
Seemingly unrelated, my husband calls getting all parts of a meal to the table on time achieving “Kumquat Haagen-Daz” (I’m sure this is a reference to something, I just don’t know what). But the ridiculousness of that name ties in neatly to the ridiculousness (in my mind) of wanting to have it all. If, at the end of the day, you had it all and were awarded the title of Kumquat Haagen-Daz, well, that just seems silly to me. That strange string of words reminds me that I have different and valid goals.
These may just be my somewhat incoherent ramblings, but it seems to reflect the experience you’re having–many people dream of being able to put their energy (however much they have) into their art. Right now, your art is your entree and everything else needs to be side dishes. If you got it all to the table at the same time, you’d be the Kumquat Haagen-Daz. But, really, that’s just silly.
i also believe i can have it all but maybe not all at once.
i do feel balanced, don’t feel like anything is missing… i suppose my definition of “having it all” may be smaller than some. peacefullness and happiness are key for me. monthly spa days are a must, and if that means my business grows at a slower rate – so be it. time with friends are a must and if that means laundry has to wait – so be it.
i don’t believe in sacrifice, i do believe that life is supporting us and magic happens when we’re open to it.
i do believe in making conscious choices. i say no to things that are awesomly wonderful things because there are other even more awesomely wonderful things that i’d rather do. it feels good to me to have so many options.
@Angelique I love the Kumquaat Haagen-Daz label. Hey, the Haagen-Daz brand was invented by marketers to sound Northern European, so why not keep the inventiveness going?
It also helps to think in terms of main dishes and side dishes. Great analogy.
@ABCcreativiy: Yes, we all need to define, and re-define what “success” looks like (and feels like) to us. Letting go of comparison helps a lot. Sounds like you’ve got a clear sense of your priorities and what you own balancing point is.
Thanks for the reminder about making choices conscious. I am taking a deep breath and remembering that it is a blessing, and not a burden, to have so many “awesomely wonderful” things to choose from.
Such great writing, Lisa, as always
Congrats on the apt in Mexico, are you unpacked yet?!! You’re never far from my thoughts, sending good vibes your way. xoxo
balance? what’s that?! i’ve been off balance for far too long – a byproduct of being interested in too many things. now i’m stopping to find the intersections and focus on those, spinning off or setting aside some things. not always easy, but it’s helping. some days i feel like i have time and ability to breathe.
Do you need a room mate ? I am suffering from burnout doing too much different things I enjoy so now I need to pull back and reassess after March but I have a book to promote maybe I can do a book promotion holiday. Thanks for sharing.
@Suzanne: The good thing about traveling light is that it only takes minutes to unpack.
I still don’t have furniture. I did acquire 2 each of cups, glasses, bowls and utensils. And a pot for oatmeal/popcorn. The rest of the time I enjoy the abundant and cheap street food. Wonderful to surrender to the fact that I just don’t care about shopping for or cooking food.
Thanks so much for the good vibes, as always!
Hey, thanks for the note, great hearing from you and so glad to hear you healthy, well, and happy!!!
I’m not sure if I could do what you do, but I sure admire it..certainly makes everyone stop to think what really are our priorities. And when it comes down to it, we don’t need much, but it’s the need/want struggle
Thanks again for the note. Be safe..
Lisa,
I picked up a copy of The Creative Entrepreneur at Barnes & Noble in Rochester, NY, far from the warm sunshine of Mexico, but I thought you’d like to know that the book helped focus my ideas for expanding my small publishing business. I’m in the process of redoing my website and rethinking the business propositions. I’m also working on a journal for horse owners and I loved your format. I probably wouldn’t have written except that I wandered into your blog and loved your Adrenal Glands Refuge. I can so relate!!!
@Suzanne (too) So glad The Creative Entrepreneur is helping you focus your ideas for your creative businesses. And glad you wandered over to my blog and left a note. It’s nice to get feedback about these crazy 1008 Paintings, as the creative process can feel so isolating at times. Encourages me to keep posting! Thanks!